i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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