so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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