Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
