Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
