Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
