Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
