I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
