Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
