He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
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You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
be right there i have to get my cape
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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