he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
