sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
