This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
