She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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