I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
