hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
