Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
