where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
