im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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