it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
