please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
