ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
