I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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