Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
