We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize