After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She bit a glass in half.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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