I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
