Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
