nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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