I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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