it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I love how my cats smell like pot.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
