it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
