Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
