they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
