I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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