I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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