spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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