So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
