Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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