I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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