Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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