I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i love accidental penises.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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