What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
