Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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