He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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