Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I need to calm my uterus...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize