you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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