She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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