What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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