Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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