Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
