Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
