He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
