Sponge bath it is.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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