Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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