Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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