I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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