is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
