I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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