He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
