He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
