oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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