Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
