I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
