I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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