Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
