Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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