the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
operation harelip BJ is a go
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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