Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
True strength comes from lack of pants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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