I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Shame - the story of my life.
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