i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
