i already hear my dad disowning me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sarcasm needs its own font
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
